underemployment

“[T]hey’ve taken from what I’ve said an...

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:54:00 -0800

“[T]hey’ve taken from what I’ve said an assumption that I’m gay, and in the halls and cafeteria I’ve been repeatedly called a gaywad.”

Kids are such JERKS (as is this douchey interviewer, so smirkful and undeserving of thanks). Will Phillips is WONDERFUL. It’s hard out there for a serious, tiny adult.

(via Tiger Beatdown)

boldtype, it's great

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:18:00 -0800

Because of book links. Such as: a brief list of books you can read online; a list of Best Books for Young Ladies; and some scans from an Edward Gorey-illustrated book titled The Recently Deflowered Girl, which seems kind of super-racist? but funny!

All right, three links, two to lists. But it’s better than a list of instructions on turning your urine into “an ideal hydroponic solution for plants!” [emphasis the author’s].

sexpigeon: How To Spin a Hamburger on Your Finger and Impress...

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:01:45 -0800

sexpigeon:

How To Spin a Hamburger on Your Finger and Impress Everyone Even the Teacher.

This looks like Quentin Blake drew it! Especially around the fingers.

tomoatmeal: Eric Left. YOU GUYS, nominate it for best of...

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:03:37 -0800

tomoatmeal:

Eric Left.

YOU GUYS, nominate it for best of craigslist. Because duh.

"Taking the place of my mother was my older sister, a fearsomely strong figure, who, if I were left..."

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:15:39 -0800

“Taking the place of my mother was my older sister, a fearsomely strong figure, who, if I were left for dead in a pile of leaves at the bottom of a 15-foot hole, would be the first to run to the edge and fashion a rope of her own hair to haul me out. (As a philosophical midlife exercise, you should make your own list of rescuers—that list may surprise or depress you. During my marriage I had come to feel, rightly or wrongly, that if I were left for dead in that 15-foot pit, my husband, being out of town, would not be able to come himself but, very responsibly, would hire someone to rush over.)”

- This essay, I don’t know; it reminds me that I am not a very communicative friend. I love my friends very much, but I’m terrible about showing it, and I feel like while I would rescue lots of them, I haven’t done much to deserve them rescuing me.

How do you show your friends that you love them without going all overboard and insane about it, when you are generally inclined toward overly emotional displays and insanity?

Here's THE GAME: Grab the book nearest you • Turn to page 56 • Find the fifth sentence • Reblog these instructions & post that sentence • Don't dig for your favorite book, the coolest, the most intellectual; use the CLOSEST book.

Sun, 15 Nov 2009 23:41:00 -0800

erikonymous:

Potato I have.

They simulate masturbation and flash their breasts for crowds of onlookers.

(it’s super-depressing, but quite engaging.)

"[Ayn Rand] insist[ed] that her followers smoke because it symbolized “man’s victory over..."

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 01:13:01 -0800

“[Ayn Rand] insist[ed] that her followers smoke because it symbolized “man’s victory over fire” and the studies showing it caused lung cancer were Communist propaganda.”

- Two biographies of Ayn Rand, who was clearly a crazy person.

I mean, libertarianism is already The Worst because it’s so selfish, but Randies are the worst of the worst, all I don’t want to share my wealth with the lesser-off, and moreover they should worship me for being their better. So unbearably obnoxious. Being a libertarian, that is a top-5 forever dealbreaker. If you’re going to be crazy, at least be fun crazy, or interesting crazy; no one likes loud and ignorant crazy.

heatheriswatching: Design Against Crime’s anti-purse-theft...

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 16:08:12 -0800

heatheriswatching:

Design Against Crime’s anti-purse-theft Chair - Core77

If this chair were portable I’d carry one with me everywhere. Seriously. Make one that folds up like one of those tiny bicycles, it is so necessary.

La Roux - As If by Magic I’ve been feeling all night as...

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 23:44:39 -0800

La Roux - As If by Magic

I’ve been feeling all night as though I could tear out my hair, so frustrated, so angry. No specific reason why; maybe I always have “a reason” to be mad, but it isn’t focused tonight, just this rage I can’t quell. Maybe it’s time to change meds. Maybe I need a break. I’ve never been so aware of feeling quite so volatile.

"Tobias Wolff: The short story, I suppose, expects a little more thoughtfulness and engagement on the..."

Tue, 10 Nov 2009 11:53:39 -0800

“

Tobias Wolff: The short story, I suppose, expects a little more thoughtfulness and engagement on the part of the reader than most readers are willing to give.

Robert Birnbaum: So in spite of the demands of time and the possibility that the short story would require less of it, you think that readers would in fact reach for the longer work because it’s easier and more convenient.

TW: Yeah, it’s more convenient. It’s easier. Also, their friends are more apt to be talking about it, really. I mean, you look on the bestseller list and the people probably when you go to the cocktail party don’t ask you if you’ve read this collection of short stories, they want to know if you’ve read Lush Life, or they want to know if you’ve read The Lovely Bones, and so it’s just more socially current, and those sorts of things tend to be self-perpetuating, there’s no question about it.

”

- Birnbaum v. Tobias Wolff

I got to edit the transcript of this interview last week, and it’s some of the most rewarding work I’ve done all year. Lucky, lucky me.

harkavagrantfeed: Hark, a Vagrant:...

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 22:18:54 -0800

harkavagrantfeed:

Hark, a Vagrant: Requests!

“You’re ‘Daddy Smash’ and not another word.”

YOU GUYS the funniest thing I have read in a million years. KATE BEATON! You are THE BEST.

I laughed SO HARD, my parents demanded to know what caused such an uproar, and I showed them, and they laughed as well. Especially my mother; she does appreciate an Eyre sisters (Bell brothers) joke. So, not so bad.

"It’s a deserved sort of sad, a harsh wrist-slapping punishment for someone who stuffed her..."

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 18:48:22 -0800

“It’s a deserved sort of sad, a harsh wrist-slapping punishment for someone who stuffed her hand greedily into the cookie jar because she felt for some reason that she was owed cookies simply by virtue of her wanting cookies. Which is sort of how America works half the time, but then that other half tends to come along and satisfyingly slap people back to cold, hard, Pilgrimy reality. Tough is tough for everyone, work is work for everyone.”

- Real Housewives of Orange County : This Is the Way the World Ends

Richard Lawson: articulator of Bravo-born fever dreams.

myparentswereawesome: Tony Submitted by Toni LOOK AT THIS....

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 17:34:27 -0800

myparentswereawesome:

Tony

Submitted by Toni

LOOK AT THIS. Someone’s dad was basically a Stooge, as in, the Three. So great. I want to favorite every single photo from My Parents Were Awesome, they are all so sweet and charming and funny and beautiful.

"These kids, unbelievably, are more technologically inept than my 60-year-old colleagues whose first..."

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:14:00 -0800

“These kids, unbelievably, are more technologically inept than my 60-year-old colleagues whose first experience with computer data processing involved punched cards. Contrary to all logic and my minimal expectations, their near-continuous computer usage has had no effect on them. None. Many of them are absolutely fucking baffled by the concept of correctly attaching something to an email.”

- Ed, again.

You guys, I faked my first research paper 12 years ago, in 10th grade; I stayed home “sick” from school and found all my sources online and then looked up a bunch of books on my topic and attributed my quotes to those books.

I took computer classes in 1989, 1990, when there were B drives and floppy discs actually flopped; I wrote my first proper research paper as a 12-year-old, getting 80 percent of my information from the internet.

Most days I feel like the oldest, dumbest person in the world. It is a relief and a shock to hear that kids 10 years my junior, who never knew life without computers and the internet, are worse at technology than me. I AM NOT YET OBSOLETE.

(soon perhaps, but not yet.)

bedtimechamp: Mister Rogers “Make a Journal” iPhone/iTouch app...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 20:22:44 -0800

bedtimechamp:

Mister Rogers “Make a Journal” iPhone/iTouch app for kids! (via PBS)

Kidlets can make a journal with Daniel Tiger!! Ohhh my heartstrings.

"Are there any real Hobos at the Convention? There are many former and current hobos, tramps and..."

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:57:38 -0800

“

Are there any real Hobos at the Convention?

There are many former and current hobos, tramps and rail-riders who join us at the Convention

Can anyone become Hobo King or Hobo Queen?

To be elected King you must be a true rail-rider. You must pass a committee of hobos who will test your worthiness to run.

”

- Hobo FAQ

Because there’s a Hobo Museum, of course.

"Everything in a photograph is possible evidence. It depends on the questions we are asking and..."

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:25:00 -0800

“

Everything in a photograph is possible evidence. It depends on the questions we are asking and trying to answer.

…

We read correctly or incorrectly a photographer’s intentions into every photograph we see. We also imagine the intentions of the people in a photograph. We see intentions everywhere. We even see them in the blind patterns of nature.

”

- “The Case of the Inappropriate Alarm Clock”

It’s embarrassing how long it took me to focus long enough to read this series; it’s fascinating.

"This brand of economics is the conservative obsession with personal responsibility taken to the nth..."

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 08:09:12 -0800

“This brand of economics is the conservative obsession with personal responsibility taken to the nth degree. We are weak, selfish, and we spend frivolously. If only we’d buckle down, pull ourselves up by the bootstraps, and limit ourselves to “necessary” expenditures we would be fine. Yes, we can cherry-pick an example here or there of a person who blows all his money on plasma screen TVs and can’t pay his mortgage just like we can find earmarks that are pure waste. Neither example is evidence that our problems as people and as a nation have to do with priorities.”

- Ed, who is great.

Exactly the right song, exactly the right time. And anyway,...

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:12:37 -0800

Exactly the right song, exactly the right time. And anyway, it’s a pretty perfect song, all on its own.

(Skeeter Davis - “The End of the World”)

definitely far from worst

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 13:42:25 -0800

I didn’t think Jennifer’s Body was so terrible. Actually, I liked it. It was certainly more entertaining than any other gory horror movie I’ve ever seen, though I don’t actually like much at all in that genre. Jennifer’s Body was funny, though, and clever without being cutesy, which was one of Juno’s big problems, all mugging for you and tap-dancing like a low-rent Shirley Temple impersonator. Jennifer’s Body winks at the audience too frequently, but I think even the girls’ makeout scene made sense, and Amanda Seyfried is great in everything—seeing her all averaged-out was strange, considering how ridiculously pretty she is—and the Low Shoulder plot was all right, too; I mean, it wasn’t super-scary or anything, but it made me jump, and made me laugh, and having a movie about girls, by ladies is a good thing. Not everything has to be 100 percent the greatest to be praiseworthy.

And Megan Fox, she’s OK; I think she’s very good-looking, and it’s fun to see her in a bunch of outfits (outfits! the reason I am all right with most models). Or, you know, aesthetically pleasing. Outfits and “acting” are more interesting than some gross Stuff magazine spread, ruffled underpants, vacant eyes, open mouth: gross, boring. Plus this isn’t about dudes. It’s aggressively not about dudes, I think, despite them being sort of the catalyst for the big story, and that’s refreshing. Rushmore remains one of my favorites, despite its being a film of a boy’s journey of self-discovery &c. that is supposed to be universal. That’s not news, “boy” = “everyone,” but that doesn’t mean I have to like it, and when a girl’s narrative is simply the universal narrative, instead of “girls’ narrative,” even in the marketing of the movie, it’s like a big present.

Of course my expectations for it were so low that its coherence alone made the movie exceed them; maybe it does deserve only five of 10 stars. I’d give it 7.5, though, maybe even 8; of all the solid, trashy films in the world, I’d watch Jennifer’s Body again tomorrow.

(then again I’m feeling pretty poorly toward dudes at the moment and thusly are storylines centering on them being eaten alive probably more entertaining to me than usual.) (probably.)